Unofficial Censored NFL Power Rankings AFTER DARK!!! Week #10

The week of Chaos.

Since going to 17 games, only two teams have made the playoffs with 8 losses. And that season was odd. There was a division with no team good enough to win ten games.

And that may happen this year as well. The AFC North, with 3 teams two games below .500, and the Steelers, who look like crap, aren’t going to have a team with 10 wins. So outside of the AFC Norris division, you are not making the playoffs with 8 losses.

A team may have 2 wins and eight losses, and be technically still alive mathematically, but realistically, you are out. I don’t put the records on the PR because, well, it’s a pain in the ass. Putting the 32 teams where they belong every Monday night already is enough of a pain after a few beers as MNF is ending, trying to sort them in the PR rankings final version without adding that X32.

Including two weeks ago, when I left a team out and they were right in the middle, so I had to adjust everything. Advice I have for everyone who wants to do this next year,

There are always 32 teams, every week.

• #32 Titans 8 LOSES — SEASON OVER!!
• With Simmons out it felt like the Titans would just get beaten to a pulp, but they gave the Chargers all they could handle. Including a beating for Herbert
• #31 Saints 8 LOSSES — SEASON OVER!!
• #30 Giants
• Deep in our souls, we all knew the Giants were done the minute Scat-man-Bo-Bo got hurt. Things went from “bad” to “over”. I almost expected him to hobble out of the tunnel and start the game. Only 13 carries for 34 yards and a TD, but given he has 1 leg and a 4x4 with a shoe on it for the other leg, it would have been impressive.
• #29 Raiders
• The Raiders showed up this week and actually played. Too bad Geno is garbage, God I miss Darek Carr.
• #28 Jets BYE WEEK
• #27 Browns BYE WEEK
• #26 Dolphins
• After the shot in the arm, the Falcons and Kirk Cousins were for the Fins last week, the Ravens getting Lamar back was like a kick in the nuts. I don’t need to point out the reality that if your coach is an offensive guru and you can’t score 7 points in a night game without a real reason, it’s not good, right? But to only score 6, man, that’s rough.
• #25 Commies/Reds
• What do Joe Theisman, RG3, and Jayden Daniels have in common? Yeah, tough break (no pun intended) for Jayden.
• #24 Bengals
• The losing end of a game that had over 1,000 yards in total offense really does beg the question: Do you Joe Burrow or maybe a few more defensive players?
• #23 Cowboys
• If you have YoutubeTV you missed this game and should call them and yell. Of course, they are Google and don’t give a fuck, so call the NFL, who really, really give a fuck, and tell them have much you hate Youtube TV. Because this crap will only get worse the more tech companies buy their way into the sports biz. Oh, the Cowboys got beat by the sorry ass Cards.
• #22 Falcons
• Follow me here, this is going to be more than 1 sentence — Penix and Drake London exposed why the playoffs are going to be so much fun this year. The Patriots are tied for the bye-week in the AFC, and these two guys, on a team 2 games below .500, on the road, lit the Pats up and came within an extra point of tying it. Which is why the Falcons are 2 games below 500 to be fair, but this team is going to roll people for years to come. The Falcons team-building philosophy should be: we draft offensive linemen, skill players and pass rushers. And the playoffs are going to be a free-for-all.
• #21 Bears
• The Bears beat the Bengals in a defensive struggle, 109 to 104.
• #20 Texans
• Two things are going against the Texans here. #1, CJ got hurt. #2, The Broncos just win every game at the end by the skin of their teeth.
• #19 Cards
• If you have Youtube TV a you missed this game and should call the and yell. Of course, they are Google and don’t give a fuck, so call the NFL who really, really give a fuck ,and tell them have much you hate Youtube TV. Because this crap will only get worse the more tech companies buy their way into the sports biz. Cards beat the Cowgirls.
• #18 Panthers
• Break up the Panthers!!! After beating Green Bay, David Tepper hires a taxidermist to stuff Vince Lombardi and have him mounted in his trophy room.
• #17 Vikings
• All JJ does is beat teams in his division. Well, that and missing games.
• #16 Jags
• The Jags kicker breaks the record, hitting a 68-yard field goal. Honestly, it was good from Caesars Palace had he been that far.
• #15 Steelers
• Because the Steelers had lost two games in a row due to crap defensive performances, it was obvious the best offense in the league would come to town and the Steelers would beat their asses.
• #14 Ravens
• I pointed out in the blog part of this that I will jump teams around if due to an injury or some other issue, if I feel they have fallen off a cliff, even for a brief period. The Ravens fell into the Marianas Trench when they lost Lamar. Even the defense was garbage. They looked old, they looked basic. Now that’s back, I see them winning the AFC North and probably going on a run.
• #13 Packers
• The Packers have lost me. They are just not that good. LaFleur is fantastic when he’s coaching against an old-school coach with a bunch of archaic rules they run their offense and defense by. The defense also can’t stop the run. Maybe I’ve been too hard on Jerra for focusing on that?
• #12 49ers
• 49ers beat the carcass of whatever is left after Skat-man-boo-boo got hurt.
• #11 Chiefs
• Bills > Chiefs regular season. But
• Chiefs > Bills post-season.
• If the season ended today, Kermit, Taylor Swift, and the rest of the extended Chiefs family would watch the playoffs on TV, just like you and me..
• #10 Chargers
• The Chargers beat a very game Titans team. And I realize I have been saying this for 10 weeks, but 6 sacks, at least another 4 tackles on running plays with a couple really big hits, and Herbert is both carrying the Boltz on his back and going to die. He led them in rushing. He definitely gets the ‘Vaniella Vick’ award this week. But I’m sure everyone in the Chargers org but Jim Harbaugh does not want him running around getting beat up by Jihad Ward.
• #9 Colts
• The Colts were licking their chops to get at the weak Steeler defense. How did that work out for them?
• #8 Rams
• The Rams have San Fran next week, whom they already lost to at home. Then they have the Seahawks at home. Which is the worst team in, the worst place anyone can play right now? As the Seahawks are killing teams on the road. We will all know how the AFC West is going to work itself out in 2 weeks.
• #7 Patriots
• I have been riding the Pats as a Vrabel team will “win if they can” every week. Special teams, late game turnovers, trick plays, these are how his teams figure out wins. Of course, the 7–2 is a little bit of VrabelBall and a little bit of last-place schedule. Falcons exposed the secondary and (yes, I am going to say it) Drake May isn’t as good as they are making him look.
• #6 The Detroit Lions
• Vikings win a must-win game. But I’m curious, the Lions know they have a great running back, right? Maybe use him…?
• #5 Bills
• OK…. The Bills were on cruise control, didn’t like being the frontrunner and lost two games to NFC South teams who will not make the playoffs. But if anything was going to help them get their heads together and focus on home field, it was this week vs the Chiefs. Of course, they always beat the Chiefs in the regular season.
• #4 Broncos
• Another week and another 3 quarters of underwhelming first 3 quarters culminating in an amazing 4th quarter
• #3 Bucs BYE WEEK
• #2 Eagles Bye Week
• #1 Seahawks
• How inept do the Jets look right now? 16–16 for Darnold to start the game, a way to screw up his development, guys. And oh my god, this pass rush… With a relatively easy schedule (by NFL standards — easy) outside of the division (and the Colts) the Hawks control the division and in a three-way tie for the NFC bye week.
• Updated playoff odds.
• https://www.playoffstatus.com/nfl/nflpostseasonprob.html

Updated playoff odds: https://www.playoffstatus.com/nfl/nflpostseasonprob.html

If you misspell a name of anyone, someone will call you an idiot.

In general, get used to being called an idiot.

No one ever says, “Great Job”, but 5–10 times a week, you will be called an idiot.

Be aware that you are an idiot.

I don’t (if you read every week, you know) keep teams static. I bounce them around based on my criteria, and I don’t cheat teams. Unlike all the people who just do “chalk,” Power Rankings, mine are more complicated. I do a true Power Ranking. Well, outside of a few giant leaps, I give terrible teams who win their first game, snarkily. I feel the team below your team on the rankings would beat your team that week, on a neutral field, and your team would beat the team they are above in the rankings under the same circumstances. That is a loose element of this and can not be the constant, but is part of the process.

I realized I was the only person with any balls when the Bengals lost Burrow or when the Ravens lost Lamar, and I dropped them 20 places. I’m not saying I was the only person who knew they were about to be terrible for the immediate future; I was, however, the only one who put it in writing.

I am going to make a note when a team reaches the 8th loss unless they are in the AFC North. Because the winner of the AFC North could have 9 losses.

If the Season ended today

AFC

Bye Week — Colts.

Jags@Patriots

Chargers@Broncos

Bills@Steelers

NFC

Bye Week — Eagles

Lions@Bucs

49ers@Seahawks

Rams@Packers

Now for the part you care about